Sometimes family disagreements can cross a line. It’s not always loud or dramatic — it might be controlling behaviour, threats, or a constant feeling of fear. If you find yourself walking on eggshells or questioning whether something is okay, that’s already a red flag.
Many people think abuse only means physical violence, but that’s far from the full picture. Emotional, financial, and psychological abuse are just as serious, and often harder to spot. If someone is monitoring your movements, isolating you from friends or family, or making you feel like everything is your fault — those are all signs you shouldn’t ignore.
Keeping Yourself and Others Safe
Safety comes first, always. If you’re in immediate danger, calling emergency services should be your first move. But if the situation is less urgent, there are still practical steps you can take.
Start with a safety plan. This could include packing a small bag with essentials, noting down important phone numbers, or deciding on a safe place to go if things escalate. It’s smart to keep copies of important documents like ID, bank details, or your children’s medical records.
Technology can help, but it can also be used against you. Be careful about what you search, who you message, and whether someone else can access your devices. Using a private browser window or clearing your history might be necessary.
Who Can You Talk To?
It’s easy to feel like you’re completely alone — but you’re not. Talking to someone can make a huge difference. This could be a friend, a doctor, or a support service. Some people prefer to speak to someone neutral, like a counsellor or social worker, especially if they’re unsure how others might react.
Getting legal help is another important step, particularly if children are involved or you need protection from ongoing abuse. A trusted family domestic violence lawyer can give you advice that fits your situation, whether that’s applying for an order or sorting out parenting arrangements.
Taking Care of Your Mental and Emotional Health
Living in a stressful or threatening environment takes a toll. It’s common to feel anxious, depressed, or even numb. Sleep might be hard, or your appetite might change. These are all normal responses, but they don’t have to be permanent.
Try to carve out time for simple things that help you feel grounded — whether that’s a walk outside, a favourite song, or journaling your thoughts. It’s not about pretending things are fine, but about finding small ways to stay connected to yourself.
Professional support is also worth considering. Therapists who specialise in trauma can help unpack what’s happened and guide you toward healing. Some community centres offer free or low-cost sessions, and there are helplines that operate 24/7 if you need someone to talk to.
Making Long-Term Decisions
Once you’re safe, the next challenge is rebuilding — and that can feel overwhelming. Housing, finances, and childcare can all be tricky to sort through. But you don’t have to tackle it all at once. Prioritise what’s most urgent, and take things one step at a time.
Centrelink, housing services, and community legal centres can all be useful places to start. Many of these services are experienced in supporting people coming out of unsafe situations, so they’ll understand the complications that might come with it.
You might also want to explore how to support someone experiencing abuse, especially if you’re helping a loved one who’s going through it. Knowing what to say, how to listen, and where to find resources can make a real difference in their safety and recovery.
Final Thoughts
There’s no right way to deal with family conflict that turns abusive, but there is support out there. Whether you’re just starting to question what’s happening or you’re ready to make a big change, know that you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Reaching out — even just to ask a question — is already a strong and important step.